I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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