Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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