she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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