Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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