But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and she was petting her beer can
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
