ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
