i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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