Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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