Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
