Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize