I looked at my own cervix.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
