Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
