Can Purell be used as lube?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So. Much. Porn.
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