I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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