I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
These tits shall not be calmed
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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