I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
