Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
