On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
