Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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