ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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