I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
