I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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