After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize