my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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