I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
love makes seman taste better
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
