Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
