I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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