I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
