you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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