end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
