Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
