i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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