She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
