Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
