Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
