I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i think my cat just said my name.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My feet surprised me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
