Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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