ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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