I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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