Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
