That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We smell like vodka and hangover
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