I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
