Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
