Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize