That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
