On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
