ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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