please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
