What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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