so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
