Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
