I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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