he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
