??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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