Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
