please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
