we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
