the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
