Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
