She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
