FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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