i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
