She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
